Weekend Preview Grab-bag

Ok, so it’s the Cards.

Redbirds vs. Red Sox.

This is really a mismatch because we all know a sock can whip the shit out of a bird, especially if it (the sock) is filled with rocks or a doorknob. Time for the Dirt Dogs to say “Homey don’t play dat” to the boys from St. Louis.

(Note: yes that was an In Living Colour reference. If you liked it, give it two snaps around the word. If not, "lemme show ya something." And don't think too much about how FOX did sketch comedy so well on their first attempt only to fail so miserably with MADTv.)

And if you’re looking for some legit reasons for the Sox to win:

1. Pitching—the Sox just have more of it. Schilling may be classified as a miracle of modern science before the Series is over, but even at 80% he’s better than anyone the Cards have. Behind you have a possibly hit-or-miss Pedro, but the Sox make up for that by now having a much better looking 3-5 in the lineup. Arroyo may have gotten mildly shellacked in game 3, but he’s a great pitcher—especially away from Fenway, for some strange reason (my theory, he’s distracted by Boston’s very attractive bat girls, or the # of fine ladies in the stands in cowboy hats[1])—Wakefield was unreal his last time pitching, and Derek Lowe has been far closer to the 20-game-winner form of a few years back.

2. Hitting—this isn’t as big in the favor of the Cards as they’d like to think. Pujols and Rolen is a great 1-2 punch, but is it really greater than Ramirez-Ortiz? Sure they’ve got Larry Walker and Jim Edmonds, but the Sox counter with Damon, and the combo of Varitek, Nixon and Cabrera. (Yes Virginia, the OC can hit). 1-9 I say the Sox are the stronger lineup (except Games 3-5 where laughter may erupt at Boston pitchers hitting).

3. Mojo, luck, etc. Ok, maybe they may not be “legit”, or “scientifically provable”, but this is a game, and momentum means a lot. The Sox are on a roll, and are the only team to win a game 7 after being down 0-3. They’ve got the guts to get it done, and they will.

As if the first Red Sox World Series since 1986 wasn’t enough sports fun, there’s also one of the biggest NFL games in years on Sunday—and it also involves New England. The 5-0 Pats will play the 5-0 Jets in a big, big game. Except I think the Pats win this one easily. Tom Brady is a better QB than Chad Pennington. The Jets have the edge in WRs, and I’ll give Curtis Martin the edge over Corey Dillon (even though Dillon is on my FF team), but the difference in this game will be the New England defense.

However, if the Jets pull of the upset, I get the feeling no one in the great Boston area will really care.

Moving to college football (today’s Not-So-Subtle Segue was made possible thanks to Readers Like You. If you’d like to donate, make checks payable to “Cash”…that’s my, uh, maiden name) UGA tries to avoid another loss by traveling to Arkansas this weekend. The two important keys for this game: Matt Jones will be playing hurt (maybe he should ask Alabama’s QBs what playing hurt vs. UGA’s D gets you) and UGA has OWNED Arkansas lately, and scored at least 30 points in the past 3 meetings, including a 38-7 win their last trip West.

All that remains is for the Tide to Roll UT.

I'd say more, but most of my college predictions have been "not so good" lately (if you placed bets based on them, please be aware: my thumbs are already broken. Repeat, my thumbs are already broken. No need for Fat Tony, Legs and Big Vinny to stop by.)
[1] Yes, Miss Red Top and Cowboy Hat from The Greatest Bar, I still want to “cowboy up.”