Memo to:
Pedro Martinez
Re: The Rally Midget isn't working too well. Time for him to go back to unpredictible mexican sitcoms (maybe he could become Bumblebee Man's mini sidekick?)
Thanks,
The Mgt.
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things..."
Preparations for this week’s UGA-LSU game are getting serious now.
Just yesterday I talked to some folks who had reserved a Pigturducken for their tailgate Saturday. For the uninitiated, a Pigturducken is the one-upped version of the Turducken—the six-legged bird made infamous by ex-coach/current Football color commentator/general-pitchman-for-any-company-that-pays-him John Madden on Thanksgiving Day NFL telecasts. The Turducken is a chicken, stuffed inside of a duck, stuffed inside of a turkey, often with holes cut in the sides so it can look like some 6-legged genetic mutation gone tasty. The Pigturducken merely takes the existing turducken and crams it inside a pig, which means the Walrus will have to find another one of those “many things” to talk about.
But really, I think more could be done, which is why I wish to share the main course on tap for my Orange Bowl tailgate (Note: knock on wood, Ol’ Lady Luck Willing):
The Buffacowpigturducken.
Recipe:
Ingredients:
Animals (whole, all cleaned and deboned):
(1) Buffalo
(1) Cow (veal calf can be substituted)
(1) Pig
(1) Turkey
(1) Duck
(1) Chicken
Additional fun stuff:
Two dozen (24) shrimp or crawfish
Cajun rice
Cajun seasoning mix
Jerk Chicken seasoning
Butter
Frying Batter
Preparation:
Combine cooked shrimp and rice, insert into chicken. Insert chicken into duck, insert duck into turkey, insert turkey into pig, insert pig into cow, insert cow into buffalo, cover the whole Frankensteinian entrée with additional Cajun spices and frying batter and dip it into an industrial-sized deep fat fryer. Eat. Have heart attack. Serves many.
Speaking of heart attacks, someone forgot to tell the Red Sox that since they’ve clinched the playoffs, games don’t count. This is a good thing (it means my dream of them winning the AL East can last another day at least) but extra-innings with Tampa Bay isn’t good for the ticker.
The big news is that Boston will go with a 4-man postseason pitching rotation. 1 (Curt), 2 (Pedro), and 3 (Bronson) are pretty much set, but who gets to be #4?
Wakefield has been sub par for the past month, so maybe the knuckler gets to hang in the bullpen, but that means #4 falls to Derek Lowe.
And that ain’t good folks.
Getting shellacked by the Yankees is one thing (especially if you spent half the night prior drinking) but getting smacked around by the D’Rays? They’re nobody’s Murderer’s Row.
Fellow blogger, Red Sox fan, and writer Jose Melendez refers to DLowe as “the Paranoid Android”…I have but one problem with this. To me, the term android implies a sort of smarts. The Boston Globe compared him with C3PO, and it doesn’t work. Sure, C3PO got flustered easily, but he was smart. I think a more accurate androidal comparison is Fatbot from the show Futurama. Lowe isn’t fat, but like Fatbot he is prone to panic, and while unlike Fatbot, Lowe isn’t in a fraternity, he does allegedly party like he confused the Boston Clubhouse with the Delta House. Plus, compare the two mug shots.
Unless he blows folks away in his final start, I think it’s time Fatbot hung out in the ‘pen.
Until next time, Go Dawgs, Go Sox (Go Twins) and to hell with LSU!
Just yesterday I talked to some folks who had reserved a Pigturducken for their tailgate Saturday. For the uninitiated, a Pigturducken is the one-upped version of the Turducken—the six-legged bird made infamous by ex-coach/current Football color commentator/general-pitchman-for-any-company-that-pays-him John Madden on Thanksgiving Day NFL telecasts. The Turducken is a chicken, stuffed inside of a duck, stuffed inside of a turkey, often with holes cut in the sides so it can look like some 6-legged genetic mutation gone tasty. The Pigturducken merely takes the existing turducken and crams it inside a pig, which means the Walrus will have to find another one of those “many things” to talk about.
But really, I think more could be done, which is why I wish to share the main course on tap for my Orange Bowl tailgate (Note: knock on wood, Ol’ Lady Luck Willing):
The Buffacowpigturducken.
Recipe:
Ingredients:
Animals (whole, all cleaned and deboned):
(1) Buffalo
(1) Cow (veal calf can be substituted)
(1) Pig
(1) Turkey
(1) Duck
(1) Chicken
Additional fun stuff:
Two dozen (24) shrimp or crawfish
Cajun rice
Cajun seasoning mix
Jerk Chicken seasoning
Butter
Frying Batter
Preparation:
Combine cooked shrimp and rice, insert into chicken. Insert chicken into duck, insert duck into turkey, insert turkey into pig, insert pig into cow, insert cow into buffalo, cover the whole Frankensteinian entrée with additional Cajun spices and frying batter and dip it into an industrial-sized deep fat fryer. Eat. Have heart attack. Serves many.
Speaking of heart attacks, someone forgot to tell the Red Sox that since they’ve clinched the playoffs, games don’t count. This is a good thing (it means my dream of them winning the AL East can last another day at least) but extra-innings with Tampa Bay isn’t good for the ticker.
The big news is that Boston will go with a 4-man postseason pitching rotation. 1 (Curt), 2 (Pedro), and 3 (Bronson) are pretty much set, but who gets to be #4?
Wakefield has been sub par for the past month, so maybe the knuckler gets to hang in the bullpen, but that means #4 falls to Derek Lowe.
And that ain’t good folks.
Getting shellacked by the Yankees is one thing (especially if you spent half the night prior drinking) but getting smacked around by the D’Rays? They’re nobody’s Murderer’s Row.
Fellow blogger, Red Sox fan, and writer Jose Melendez refers to DLowe as “the Paranoid Android”…I have but one problem with this. To me, the term android implies a sort of smarts. The Boston Globe compared him with C3PO, and it doesn’t work. Sure, C3PO got flustered easily, but he was smart. I think a more accurate androidal comparison is Fatbot from the show Futurama. Lowe isn’t fat, but like Fatbot he is prone to panic, and while unlike Fatbot, Lowe isn’t in a fraternity, he does allegedly party like he confused the Boston Clubhouse with the Delta House. Plus, compare the two mug shots.
Unless he blows folks away in his final start, I think it’s time Fatbot hung out in the ‘pen.
Until next time, Go Dawgs, Go Sox (Go Twins) and to hell with LSU!
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Sox Clinch, Dawgs Prepare and NFL Roundup
They’ve got the Wild Card at least.
Last night the Sox whipped up on the Devil Rays a bit, and popped many champagne corks in the dugout, as they clinched—at least—a berth in the playoffs as the AL Wild Card team.
With less than a week left in the season hoping for the AL East is probably a lost cause, but strange things have happened this season—most notably the fact that Pedro Martinez has taken to having a Mini-Me join his entourage. While sadly not Verne Troyer, the guy has been named the team’s official “lucky charm” (Note: an Irish midget would make a funnier lucky charm, if an obvious one). If I felt like hearing complaints from PETA and the Anti Little People Defamation League I would draw comparisons between Anaheim’s Rally Monkey and Boston’s Rally Midget, but I don’t, so I’ll leave those snide comments up to y’all.
(Note: if the Sox do go on a tear this week I may be inquiring about finding a little person to scamper and frolic along the sidelines of Sanford Stadium this Saturday. Think of the Munson calls: “It wasn’t Ol’ Lady Luck that saved us today; it was a midget, my God a midget! We stepped on their face with a fancifully-clad midget and really wounded their pride! Man is there gonna be some property destroyed tonight!”)
In Bulldog news, the ongoing theme seems to be that of returns: Odell Thurman returns from the Land of Violation of Unspecified Team Rules Suspension Land, and he’s pissed off. This does not bode well for the health of LSU offensive players, but it’s a damn good thing for us Dawg fans. On the offensive side, Danny Ware returns from the Land Of Bleeding Lungs, and my guess is he’s itching to tear the LSU D a new one. He’s a player folks. He was coughing up blood and did not want to be taken out of the game vs. South Carolina. My hope is he turns LSU safety Dawan Landry into 2004’s Bill Bates. (Note for the younguns: Bates was the Tennessee safety Herschel Walker “ran over” in his first game at RB for UGA.)
The hope is that the return of “Dude, you’re getting Odell’d” will bolster an already ass-whoomping D and the return of Ware at RB will get the offense performing like did in the first game. The only problem with this hope is it assumes that we can make LSU’s D look like Georgia Southern’s D. Hey, it could happen.
And now (cue booming, echo-y voice):
THE NFL ROUNDUP
In the NFL, the Falcons are 3-0 for the first time since 1986 (incidentally, that was the last year Boston made a World Series—thank God the Mets aren’t in the playoffs and He Shall Not Be Named But His Initials Are B.B. is not playing for the Sox), and in clear defiance of my preseason predictions, the Eagles are looking damn good with T.O. I keep waiting for T.O. the conceited, locker-room cancerous jackass to appear and for someone to torch the Eagles defense, but it hasn’t happened yet. But remember, Kansas City started strong last year too and I still stand by my prediction that the Eagles won’t be in the NFC Championship game this season.
As for the Falcons, Sunday’s 6-3 win was one of the ugliest bits of football seen in a while (the Braves scored the same number of points on Sunday), but it showed the one key difference between ‘04’s Falcons and ‘03’s that doesn’t answer to the name Mike Vick: this year’s Falcons actually play defense. Now they’re not going to remind anyone of the 1985 Bears, but somehow this Falcons defense is playing some really good ball. My theory? They have a Rally Midget.
Fantasy Football note: the Drunken Dawgs are now 2-1 and gaining ground in the league, and WR corps should get a major boost from dropping the dead weight and lead hands of Laverneas Coles for the sure hands (and single coverage as a result of Marvin Harrison drawing double) of Reggie Wayne. And check out my Defensive End lineup this week: Jevon Kearse and Charles Grant. Good times. Win #3 shall be glorious.
Until next time, Go Dawgs, Go Sox and to hell with LSU
Last night the Sox whipped up on the Devil Rays a bit, and popped many champagne corks in the dugout, as they clinched—at least—a berth in the playoffs as the AL Wild Card team.
With less than a week left in the season hoping for the AL East is probably a lost cause, but strange things have happened this season—most notably the fact that Pedro Martinez has taken to having a Mini-Me join his entourage. While sadly not Verne Troyer, the guy has been named the team’s official “lucky charm” (Note: an Irish midget would make a funnier lucky charm, if an obvious one). If I felt like hearing complaints from PETA and the Anti Little People Defamation League I would draw comparisons between Anaheim’s Rally Monkey and Boston’s Rally Midget, but I don’t, so I’ll leave those snide comments up to y’all.
(Note: if the Sox do go on a tear this week I may be inquiring about finding a little person to scamper and frolic along the sidelines of Sanford Stadium this Saturday. Think of the Munson calls: “It wasn’t Ol’ Lady Luck that saved us today; it was a midget, my God a midget! We stepped on their face with a fancifully-clad midget and really wounded their pride! Man is there gonna be some property destroyed tonight!”)
In Bulldog news, the ongoing theme seems to be that of returns: Odell Thurman returns from the Land of Violation of Unspecified Team Rules Suspension Land, and he’s pissed off. This does not bode well for the health of LSU offensive players, but it’s a damn good thing for us Dawg fans. On the offensive side, Danny Ware returns from the Land Of Bleeding Lungs, and my guess is he’s itching to tear the LSU D a new one. He’s a player folks. He was coughing up blood and did not want to be taken out of the game vs. South Carolina. My hope is he turns LSU safety Dawan Landry into 2004’s Bill Bates. (Note for the younguns: Bates was the Tennessee safety Herschel Walker “ran over” in his first game at RB for UGA.)
The hope is that the return of “Dude, you’re getting Odell’d” will bolster an already ass-whoomping D and the return of Ware at RB will get the offense performing like did in the first game. The only problem with this hope is it assumes that we can make LSU’s D look like Georgia Southern’s D. Hey, it could happen.
And now (cue booming, echo-y voice):
THE NFL ROUNDUP
In the NFL, the Falcons are 3-0 for the first time since 1986 (incidentally, that was the last year Boston made a World Series—thank God the Mets aren’t in the playoffs and He Shall Not Be Named But His Initials Are B.B. is not playing for the Sox), and in clear defiance of my preseason predictions, the Eagles are looking damn good with T.O. I keep waiting for T.O. the conceited, locker-room cancerous jackass to appear and for someone to torch the Eagles defense, but it hasn’t happened yet. But remember, Kansas City started strong last year too and I still stand by my prediction that the Eagles won’t be in the NFC Championship game this season.
As for the Falcons, Sunday’s 6-3 win was one of the ugliest bits of football seen in a while (the Braves scored the same number of points on Sunday), but it showed the one key difference between ‘04’s Falcons and ‘03’s that doesn’t answer to the name Mike Vick: this year’s Falcons actually play defense. Now they’re not going to remind anyone of the 1985 Bears, but somehow this Falcons defense is playing some really good ball. My theory? They have a Rally Midget.
Fantasy Football note: the Drunken Dawgs are now 2-1 and gaining ground in the league, and WR corps should get a major boost from dropping the dead weight and lead hands of Laverneas Coles for the sure hands (and single coverage as a result of Marvin Harrison drawing double) of Reggie Wayne. And check out my Defensive End lineup this week: Jevon Kearse and Charles Grant. Good times. Win #3 shall be glorious.
Until next time, Go Dawgs, Go Sox and to hell with LSU
Monday, September 27, 2004
8791, CFB Grabass and some NFL stuff
8791. If it’s true, if it’s going to happen, if it’s meant to be, then it’s not over.
Sure, I wrote right here that if it was going to happen the Sox had to sweep the Yankees.
They didn’t.
But guess what? Mathematically it’s still possible.
The MFYs (that’s Motherfucking Yankees for those who don’t know) get to play the Twins and the soon-to-be Cy Young winning Johan Santana (brace yourself for Johan-Carlos references to come later) while the Sox get the Devil Rays.
If it really is going to be 1978 in reverse, the Yankees collapse this week.
And in related paternity news, apparently the Yankees have a new son and his name is Pedro.
Yes, yes, I know, much ink and HTML has already been spilled over Pedro’s post game comments after losing to the Yankees again, but hey, I never played football as a lad so I’m going to pile on now.
True, it sort of sounded like giving up, but I think that it was really more a mix of Pedro being a smartass and Pedro being pissed off. This is the same pitcher who has said if the Babe were in the box, he would plunk him on the ass with a pitch. Pedro’s frustrated, he’s pissed, but he isn’t throwing in the towel folks.
There is of course one other possibility: Pedro spoke the literal truth.
As we all know, Babe Ruth loved the hookers, who knows, maybe the Babe is really Pedro’s father.
Ok, maybe that one’s stretching a bit (we all know Pedro’s mom wouldn’t be a hooker, nor put out for the Babe) but here’s a fun one: Don Zimmer is Pedro’s pop. Oh, there’s no way it could be true, but it’d make for a great faux-Star Wars scene—especially since Zimmer looks a lot like Darth Vader sans the asthmatic breathing mask. Pedro better watch out on this Tampa Bay trip and stay away from the D’Rays dugout unless he wants to hear Zim say “Pedro, I am your father”.
Crazy yes, but I’ll tell you what’s not crazy: 8719 can still happen. Crank up your Bon Jovi and Keep the Faith folks—Saturday and Sunday’s games were glorious.
In other news, college football’s “boring Saturday” proved to an exception, as there were a few good games. So, without further delay, let’s go into our new weekly feature: College Football Grabass—a quick and playful recap of the weekend in college football.
1. Arkansas=better than you thought (unless you are a die-hard, pig calling Arkansas fan). They hinted it when they took Texas to the limit, but they proved it by beating a decent Alabama team. Houston Nutt’s team is now posed to deflate the over inflated hype balloon of Auburn (just watch, the Barn will beat UT, get mentioned as a national title contender and then implode at home vs. the Hawgs).
2. Minnesota may be the best team in the Big 10 (sic). I was going to say Purdue was a candidate as well, but conference champions don’t have a defense that gives up 30 to a crappy Illinois team (related note: still trying to figure out what the hell an “Illini” is.) Minnesota can seemingly run on anyone and has a more productive RB tandem than even the hyped Auburn duo of Carnell “Cadillac” Williams and Ronnie “quit giving me car related nicknames, I’m not like Cadillac damnit” Brown, plus they actually play defense (so far) which is more than Purdue did this past weekend. Right now the conference is the Golden Gopher’s to lose but the Buckeyes and Badgers have potential.
3. Virginia will play Miami for the ACC title, but if NCState finds an offense, they have a shot at making noise. If Bobby Bowden is able to destroy those incriminating pictures Chris Rix HAS to have of him and is able to start ANYONE other than Rix at QB, FSU can stay in this race as well. (Side note: the Bowden Bowl was even more insufferable to watch this year as ABC brought Tater Tot Bowden back as a special reporter. Oddly enough, they never actually cut to Terry when I was watching, possibly because his oompa-loompian stature makes sideline interviews with folks who average over 6 feet tall (a good 2-and-a-half feet more than Tater Tot) pretty unfeasible.
4. USC will lose, but their cheerleaders are still the hottest things on the sidelines other than Erin Andrews—actually hotter (Andrews went to the University of Florida, the Trojan Cheerleaders—not the condoms, the university—did not.) But anyway, USC trailed to Stanford (Note: if they’re so smart why the hell is their mascot “The Cardinal” yet the guy dresses in a Tree suit? Do they know a Cardinal is a bird—or possibly a prominent member of the Catholic Church—and not a tree? Maybe they’re suffering from the same mascotally-confused malady Auburn suffers from.) Now, go back and read the four words in front of that parenthetical. USC, number one team in the land, trailed to Stanford, number somewhere not in the top 25 team in the land with a guy in a tree suit on the sidelines. This means one thing: the only Trojans that will be in Miami for the Orange bowl are the ones that protect against pregnancy and venereal disease.
The full NFL wrap won’t be ready until tomorrow (gotta let my Monday Night Fantasy Football players step up…looking your way Eddie George), but let me just toss out a hearty “aren’t you kicking yourself now” to all those folks who benched Javon Walker. And let me add a “Yes, I am patting myself on the back” to myself for grabbing Reggie Wayne of waivers. My WRs had been underperforming, not anymore.
Until next time, Go Dawgs, Go Sox, to hell with LSU and Tampa Bay and the MFYs!
Sure, I wrote right here that if it was going to happen the Sox had to sweep the Yankees.
They didn’t.
But guess what? Mathematically it’s still possible.
The MFYs (that’s Motherfucking Yankees for those who don’t know) get to play the Twins and the soon-to-be Cy Young winning Johan Santana (brace yourself for Johan-Carlos references to come later) while the Sox get the Devil Rays.
If it really is going to be 1978 in reverse, the Yankees collapse this week.
And in related paternity news, apparently the Yankees have a new son and his name is Pedro.
Yes, yes, I know, much ink and HTML has already been spilled over Pedro’s post game comments after losing to the Yankees again, but hey, I never played football as a lad so I’m going to pile on now.
True, it sort of sounded like giving up, but I think that it was really more a mix of Pedro being a smartass and Pedro being pissed off. This is the same pitcher who has said if the Babe were in the box, he would plunk him on the ass with a pitch. Pedro’s frustrated, he’s pissed, but he isn’t throwing in the towel folks.
There is of course one other possibility: Pedro spoke the literal truth.
As we all know, Babe Ruth loved the hookers, who knows, maybe the Babe is really Pedro’s father.
Ok, maybe that one’s stretching a bit (we all know Pedro’s mom wouldn’t be a hooker, nor put out for the Babe) but here’s a fun one: Don Zimmer is Pedro’s pop. Oh, there’s no way it could be true, but it’d make for a great faux-Star Wars scene—especially since Zimmer looks a lot like Darth Vader sans the asthmatic breathing mask. Pedro better watch out on this Tampa Bay trip and stay away from the D’Rays dugout unless he wants to hear Zim say “Pedro, I am your father”.
Crazy yes, but I’ll tell you what’s not crazy: 8719 can still happen. Crank up your Bon Jovi and Keep the Faith folks—Saturday and Sunday’s games were glorious.
In other news, college football’s “boring Saturday” proved to an exception, as there were a few good games. So, without further delay, let’s go into our new weekly feature: College Football Grabass—a quick and playful recap of the weekend in college football.
1. Arkansas=better than you thought (unless you are a die-hard, pig calling Arkansas fan). They hinted it when they took Texas to the limit, but they proved it by beating a decent Alabama team. Houston Nutt’s team is now posed to deflate the over inflated hype balloon of Auburn (just watch, the Barn will beat UT, get mentioned as a national title contender and then implode at home vs. the Hawgs).
2. Minnesota may be the best team in the Big 10 (sic). I was going to say Purdue was a candidate as well, but conference champions don’t have a defense that gives up 30 to a crappy Illinois team (related note: still trying to figure out what the hell an “Illini” is.) Minnesota can seemingly run on anyone and has a more productive RB tandem than even the hyped Auburn duo of Carnell “Cadillac” Williams and Ronnie “quit giving me car related nicknames, I’m not like Cadillac damnit” Brown, plus they actually play defense (so far) which is more than Purdue did this past weekend. Right now the conference is the Golden Gopher’s to lose but the Buckeyes and Badgers have potential.
3. Virginia will play Miami for the ACC title, but if NCState finds an offense, they have a shot at making noise. If Bobby Bowden is able to destroy those incriminating pictures Chris Rix HAS to have of him and is able to start ANYONE other than Rix at QB, FSU can stay in this race as well. (Side note: the Bowden Bowl was even more insufferable to watch this year as ABC brought Tater Tot Bowden back as a special reporter. Oddly enough, they never actually cut to Terry when I was watching, possibly because his oompa-loompian stature makes sideline interviews with folks who average over 6 feet tall (a good 2-and-a-half feet more than Tater Tot) pretty unfeasible.
4. USC will lose, but their cheerleaders are still the hottest things on the sidelines other than Erin Andrews—actually hotter (Andrews went to the University of Florida, the Trojan Cheerleaders—not the condoms, the university—did not.) But anyway, USC trailed to Stanford (Note: if they’re so smart why the hell is their mascot “The Cardinal” yet the guy dresses in a Tree suit? Do they know a Cardinal is a bird—or possibly a prominent member of the Catholic Church—and not a tree? Maybe they’re suffering from the same mascotally-confused malady Auburn suffers from.) Now, go back and read the four words in front of that parenthetical. USC, number one team in the land, trailed to Stanford, number somewhere not in the top 25 team in the land with a guy in a tree suit on the sidelines. This means one thing: the only Trojans that will be in Miami for the Orange bowl are the ones that protect against pregnancy and venereal disease.
The full NFL wrap won’t be ready until tomorrow (gotta let my Monday Night Fantasy Football players step up…looking your way Eddie George), but let me just toss out a hearty “aren’t you kicking yourself now” to all those folks who benched Javon Walker. And let me add a “Yes, I am patting myself on the back” to myself for grabbing Reggie Wayne of waivers. My WRs had been underperforming, not anymore.
Until next time, Go Dawgs, Go Sox, to hell with LSU and Tampa Bay and the MFYs!
Friday, September 24, 2004
8719 thoughts and a few random CFB musings
Ok, I've broken one my pledges to myself. Back in July, when the Sox were mired in a particularly bad strecth of middling .500 ball, and losing a ridiculous number of one run games, I realized that I could not survive if I was as emotionally invested in each Sox game like I get with UGA football.
It's ok (well, maybe not ok, but at least "proven feasible") to live and die on the fortunes of a group of kids for 11 or so games--especially with 6 days to recover between games--but over the course of 162 games, sometimes with less than 24 hours to recover, it's crazy.
As a result, I pledged I wouldn't go all pouty when the Sox lost a game, but after they lost to Baltimore, and the MFYs won, last night I woke up feeling a little emotionally hungover. The big downside to an emotional hangover is that it's a lot harder to find some hair of the dog.
But anyway. Forget Baltimore. This is it folks.
Yankees-BoSox.
At Fenway.
If this is going to be 1978 in reverse (and I still have hope that it is), a sweep of the MFYs needs to happen. They went to the Bronx with tshirts sporting a great line from Tombstone "tell 'em we're coming, and hell's coming with us", which is a nice and good reference to a kickass movie and all, but it didn't help. They've just got to get the mental attitude right.
To continue with the Tombstone references, Boston needs to be Doc Holliday to the Yankees Johnny Ringo.
The Yankees are no daisy, and the strain's more than they can bear.
And in other news...
After spending 14 hours with a case of beer watching some great college football games last weekend, this weekend looks like...
a great chance to catch up on yard work.
What's the best matchup on TV this weekend? Two barely top 25 Big 10 (sic) teams: Michigan, who struggled at home against San Jose State and lost to a pretty average Notre Dame against mighty Iowa, fresh from an ass kicking at mighty Arizona St (aka, the school that is harder to get into than Heaven per Ned Flanders).
Can't you just taste the excitement?
But I can do more than bitch...my nugget of analysis for today is this:
Can Miami and FSU both be overrated?
Much ink and HTML has been spilled about how FSU offense with Chris Rix at QB is like a Ferrari with a drunken quadraplegic at the wheel (and if you can't picture that, realize that one could still be considered "at the wheel" if one is gripping it between one's teeth--also, Note: much thanks and kudos and "props" and whatnot to my friend Amanda for pointing out that a paraplegic could actually still use his or her arms, hence the edit to "quad-") what a few pundits are missing is that Miami with Brock Berlin (who has a future in pro wrasslin' from his name alone waiting after college) is no well oiled machine either.
I alternated watching some of Y tu Mama Tambien on IFC with the Miami-Houston game last night (note: not recommended surfing options) and, well, Miami did not look that good folks.
Maybe Houston is poised to return to the days of Andre Ware, but I think what's happened is that maybe, just maybe, that yearly exodus of 1st round NFL talent is starting to catch up with Uncle Fester's team.
And, because I know some of y'all will ask, if Miami and FSU are both overrated, who's the ACC's best team? Well, it may just be UVA. Al Groh's been bringing some NFL defensive strategies and has recruited some serious playmakers (especially at LB) and RB Wali Lundy's been scoring like Hugh Hefner on Viagra night. Additional bonus: UVA gets the stronger of the two potential overrated FL teams at home.
As for this weekend's games, kick back and feel your ass Groh.
It's ok (well, maybe not ok, but at least "proven feasible") to live and die on the fortunes of a group of kids for 11 or so games--especially with 6 days to recover between games--but over the course of 162 games, sometimes with less than 24 hours to recover, it's crazy.
As a result, I pledged I wouldn't go all pouty when the Sox lost a game, but after they lost to Baltimore, and the MFYs won, last night I woke up feeling a little emotionally hungover. The big downside to an emotional hangover is that it's a lot harder to find some hair of the dog.
But anyway. Forget Baltimore. This is it folks.
Yankees-BoSox.
At Fenway.
If this is going to be 1978 in reverse (and I still have hope that it is), a sweep of the MFYs needs to happen. They went to the Bronx with tshirts sporting a great line from Tombstone "tell 'em we're coming, and hell's coming with us", which is a nice and good reference to a kickass movie and all, but it didn't help. They've just got to get the mental attitude right.
To continue with the Tombstone references, Boston needs to be Doc Holliday to the Yankees Johnny Ringo.
The Yankees are no daisy, and the strain's more than they can bear.
And in other news...
After spending 14 hours with a case of beer watching some great college football games last weekend, this weekend looks like...
a great chance to catch up on yard work.
What's the best matchup on TV this weekend? Two barely top 25 Big 10 (sic) teams: Michigan, who struggled at home against San Jose State and lost to a pretty average Notre Dame against mighty Iowa, fresh from an ass kicking at mighty Arizona St (aka, the school that is harder to get into than Heaven per Ned Flanders).
Can't you just taste the excitement?
But I can do more than bitch...my nugget of analysis for today is this:
Can Miami and FSU both be overrated?
Much ink and HTML has been spilled about how FSU offense with Chris Rix at QB is like a Ferrari with a drunken quadraplegic at the wheel (and if you can't picture that, realize that one could still be considered "at the wheel" if one is gripping it between one's teeth--also, Note: much thanks and kudos and "props" and whatnot to my friend Amanda for pointing out that a paraplegic could actually still use his or her arms, hence the edit to "quad-") what a few pundits are missing is that Miami with Brock Berlin (who has a future in pro wrasslin' from his name alone waiting after college) is no well oiled machine either.
I alternated watching some of Y tu Mama Tambien on IFC with the Miami-Houston game last night (note: not recommended surfing options) and, well, Miami did not look that good folks.
Maybe Houston is poised to return to the days of Andre Ware, but I think what's happened is that maybe, just maybe, that yearly exodus of 1st round NFL talent is starting to catch up with Uncle Fester's team.
And, because I know some of y'all will ask, if Miami and FSU are both overrated, who's the ACC's best team? Well, it may just be UVA. Al Groh's been bringing some NFL defensive strategies and has recruited some serious playmakers (especially at LB) and RB Wali Lundy's been scoring like Hugh Hefner on Viagra night. Additional bonus: UVA gets the stronger of the two potential overrated FL teams at home.
As for this weekend's games, kick back and feel your ass Groh.
Thursday, September 23, 2004
Long games and Bronson's Death Wish
So, taking a nice, ricockulously small sample size (two games--whoo-hoo!) of games in which Bronson Arroyo was the starting pitcher, I have but one conclusion: he wants to give me a heart attack before age 26.
Which is really vindicive I must say, what with Bronson being a good many years past the ripe old age of 26. (Ripe? Did I say that? Maybe I should shower more...)
But look at the evidence:
Friday the 17th vs. the MFYs: the game started at 7 and ended after midnight, Boston began the final inning trailing and won by one run.
Wednesday the 22nd vs. Baltimore: the game started at 7 and ended after midnight, Boston began the final inning tied and won by one run.
So you can see why I may not be engaging in a kind of Lyndon LaRoushe-but-in-baseball-not-politics level conspiracy when I propose that maybe Mr. Arroyo has stock in some anti heart-attack medicine-making company or holdings in an anti-stress pill manufacturing firm.
The good folks at Boston Globe have a nice article today that further illuminates some stuff on Bronson (note: this was not a mixed metaphor, merely a half-assed one), and they go into nice detail about his odd stats and how he pitchers better on the road than at home.
But right now the question Boston fans need to ask: who goes to the 'pen first, Wakefield or Lowe? If I hadn't just checked ESPN.com, and saw that Lowe was behind, I would've said Wakefield, but right now, in the heat of my pissedoffness, it's both.
So I'll leave with a thought that is 9/10ths stirring the pot and 1/10ths what I deep down believe: if it's a series against the Yankees, Arroyo should be the #2 starter, not Pedro.
Enjoy.
Which is really vindicive I must say, what with Bronson being a good many years past the ripe old age of 26. (Ripe? Did I say that? Maybe I should shower more...)
But look at the evidence:
Friday the 17th vs. the MFYs: the game started at 7 and ended after midnight, Boston began the final inning trailing and won by one run.
Wednesday the 22nd vs. Baltimore: the game started at 7 and ended after midnight, Boston began the final inning tied and won by one run.
So you can see why I may not be engaging in a kind of Lyndon LaRoushe-but-in-baseball-not-politics level conspiracy when I propose that maybe Mr. Arroyo has stock in some anti heart-attack medicine-making company or holdings in an anti-stress pill manufacturing firm.
The good folks at Boston Globe have a nice article today that further illuminates some stuff on Bronson (note: this was not a mixed metaphor, merely a half-assed one), and they go into nice detail about his odd stats and how he pitchers better on the road than at home.
But right now the question Boston fans need to ask: who goes to the 'pen first, Wakefield or Lowe? If I hadn't just checked ESPN.com, and saw that Lowe was behind, I would've said Wakefield, but right now, in the heat of my pissedoffness, it's both.
So I'll leave with a thought that is 9/10ths stirring the pot and 1/10ths what I deep down believe: if it's a series against the Yankees, Arroyo should be the #2 starter, not Pedro.
Enjoy.
An Intro
The things we do when bored at work...some people IM constantly, some post random diatribes on message boards, other, slightly more productive people, look up porn (because, deep down, they know they'll get caught, and go out and find a job where they enjoy what they're doing--or at the very least get paid for looking up porn). Where was that string of clauses going? Oh yeah, me, I get bored and I create a sports blog.
What's going to show up here? Rants mostly, and lots of heresay and conjecture (heresay and conjecture being, as any Simpsons fan could tell you "kinds of evidence").
What teams will inspire the most comments?
My grey hairs and heart problems develop primarily as a result of my near obsessive love of the Georgia Bulldawgs (mainly college football) and until the Curse of the Bambino is lifted, the Boston Red Sox. So expect lots about the Dawgs, and the Dirt Dogs.
In addition, I will try and practice my objectivity by commenting on the NFL (excluding, of course, the players on my fantasty football team).
And now that I've found some thing fun and productive to do with my time, the phone is ringing...
What's going to show up here? Rants mostly, and lots of heresay and conjecture (heresay and conjecture being, as any Simpsons fan could tell you "kinds of evidence").
What teams will inspire the most comments?
My grey hairs and heart problems develop primarily as a result of my near obsessive love of the Georgia Bulldawgs (mainly college football) and until the Curse of the Bambino is lifted, the Boston Red Sox. So expect lots about the Dawgs, and the Dirt Dogs.
In addition, I will try and practice my objectivity by commenting on the NFL (excluding, of course, the players on my fantasty football team).
And now that I've found some thing fun and productive to do with my time, the phone is ringing...
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